A conversation with "God"

Chatting with God has never been easier! Tagline: Repenting made easy

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
can you help me pass my Finals?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
how is that going to help me?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
errr...ok
God:
Ummm. I hear you.
Me:
so, do you like Derrida?
God:
Great. But I think airplanes are cool. I like Creed.
Me:
as in Scott Stapp and not the Nicene Creed?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
ok, you're not making sense
God:
Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind. And?
Me:
so God, are you saying you don't actually exist?
God:
Thus. I am a Christian.
Me:
nice to know
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
I thought it's the other way around? You know, Romans 2:4?
God:
I've heard of it before. No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
the Apostle Paul?
God:
What is that?
Me:
LOL, you're having me on
God:
I am glad you find this funny. No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
so God, are you actually a big, huge robot like in the Matrix or something?
God:
Or something. I hear you. I am a Christian.
Me:
Is it possible to be both a Jedi and a Christian? I wouldn't mind being both!
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. Why do you want it?
Me:
you know, Jedi...cool lightsabers and stuff
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it. I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
you don't know very much, do you, God?

At which point God got offended and quit on me.

(HT: Ps. Sivin)